Day 83: Goodbye to 2013

It's time to say goodbye to 2013 and hello to a new year.  2013 was a decent year overall, no real complaints.  I spent most of my time at work, as usual, but nothing really special this year.

The best thing I did in 2013 was to start this diet.  Since I began the modified-fast in October, I have lost 43 pounds.  I didn't quite meet my original goal of 50 pounds by the end of December, but I came awfully close to the adjusted goal I set for myself at the beginning of the month.  I figured I would make it to 45 pounds, so 43 isn't too bad.

Before Pic: October 2013

I am quite pleased with my progress so far.  I am still losing slightly more than 1/2 a pound a day.  .51 pounds per day, to be exact.  No complaints here!  I am noticing a significant change in my body and I've been forced to alter my clothes or just buy new ones in order to look decent at work.  My friends and colleagues have also noticed the change in how I look.  At this point, it doesn't seem like I go more than a day without someone asking how much weight I've lost or someone simply complimenting me.  While it's a bit narcissistic, I do enjoy the compliments.  But even more important, it keeps me motivated to move forward.

On a more internal note, I'm also starting to notice some changes mentally as well.  This isn't to say I don't have a long way to go still, but I'm starting to see a shift in how I am thinking about food.  I'm not craving full-sugar sodas anymore.  I can see myself avoiding them completely in the future.  I also don't want the crazy Starbucks Mocha's I used to drink.  Now I am just as happy with a skinny, non-fat version.  I also have just bought some low-fat and Hungry Girl cookbooks from Amazon.  I'm thinking about how I'm going to eat once I am back on "regular" food. 

I truly feel I can be successful with this diet and reach my goal weight of 170 pounds (or less!).  I also believe I can keep the weight off ... for good.

Here's looking forward to an amazing 2014.  I wish nothing but the best for you and your goals.

Happy New Year!

Week Twelve

Today's Weigh in:

-4.8 pounds

Total Lost:
43

Current Weight:
215.2

Woo hoo!  I lost nearly 5 pounds this week.  After my cheating debacle last week, I thought for sure I would have a bad week.

What a great inspiration to head into the new year.

Day 81: Time to Shop

It's almost time for me to buy some new clothes.  Today I had to put on three pairs of pants before I found something that (sort of) fit.  Trust me, I'm not complaining!  It's a good thing.  The best part is that the pants I was trying were from my "skinny" box of clothes.  Granted, these aren't truly skinny clothes, but they were the clothes I had previously boxed up because they became to tight.

I am now a size 14/16, depending on the brand.  And, that's not a plus size 14/16 - that's a regular misses size!  My size 18W clothes have already gone into the "donate" bin ... and now it's time to do the same with my 16W clothes.

Today I bought a couple of NYDJ pants on 6pm.com, size 14.  I know I should wait to buy clothes, but I'm tired of looking like a bag (or baggy!) lady.  At least the pants weren't the normal NYDJ price, they were both 75% off!

I'll have to do another closet organize on my next weekend to figure out what fits and what doesn't fit.  That will definitely help speed things up when I'm getting dressed in the morning.

Day 80: Hungry Again

I've noticed after my brief cheat this week that I'm hungrier than usual.  I suppose that's to be expected. Today I ate two dinners.  I was sitting here thinking about how hungry I am ... and I decided it's better to eat some more of the diet food than break down and end up eating something I shouldn't.


Total calories for the day ... about 900.  It's only 100 over.  Not too bad.  My group counselor has also told us numerous times that we should eat a MINIMUM of 800 calories.  If we are having a rough day and need more, we're told to eat another packet of food.  So, today I did.

I had three full packets of the Nacho Cheese Pasta.  Usually I eat two packets together, since it's only about a 1/2 cup for a single serving.  Today I at my usual two, then I fixed up another packet and ate that one too.  I did feel significantly better after eating.  I will not have my nightly cup of cocoa (another diet drink) tonight.  That's only 70 calories, but I've already gone over the limit and I don't want to get carried away.

Part of the problem was likely because I didn't eat enough during the day. Up until about 7 pm, I'd only had a small breakfast and a soup.  I'll try to spread things out a little better tomorrow.  Hopefully that, and a little time, will help me get back on track.

Day 79: Collar Bones

Moving right along now.

I noticed today that I am starting to see my collar bones again.  Okay, so this isn't that big of a deal, but I haven't seen them in years!

They're just starting to peek out, so I thought I'd show you a picture.  See, you can seem them barely starting to poke out a tiny bit.

Seriously, I know it sounds silly, but these are just some of the strange milestones I think about as I continue to lose weight.  It's nice to notice the day after I fell off the wagon.  It gives me good incentive to get back on the diet and move on.  Which, by the way, I am back on the diet.  I messed up once yesterday, but I won't let that get me down!!!

Day 78: I had a Bad Day ... oh and Merry Christmas

Today was a bad day.  A very bad day.

It's Christmas and I'm not spending the holidays with family this year.  I did spend last week with family, but there's something awfully lonely about being alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  So, to make a long story short (and to avoid the whine factor) I cheated on my diet today.  Big time.

I was hungry this afternoon.  For weeks I've been craving a cheeseburger and onion rings.  So, today I gave in to the temptation and had some food delivered.  First off, the food was crap.  I ordered from Grub Hub, which despite the photos of burgers on their home page, have disturbingly few actual burgers available.   The sad thing about cheating today was that some of the better delivery places were closed.  TryCaviar is amazing and has some great burger joints, but they weren't operating today.  Anyway, I got a burger, onion rings and some cheesy fries.  Yes, I know, I overdid it.

Despite all the food, I didn't eat everything.  I had a few rings (3-4) and half the burger.  It was okay, not great.  That's probably a good thing considering I needed to go right back on the diet!  The burger was blah and I only ate a couple fries.  I ate enough for a small lunch and threw the rest away.  I figure it was about 1,000 calories, so with breakfast I probably ate about 1,250 calories today.  Not bad overall, but well over the limit on this diet.

This really made me realize that I am an emotional eater.  I was sad and lonely.  I was also upset about the low weight loss.  As I mentioned yesterday, I only lost 3 pounds over the past three weeks.  Sure, that's respectable.  But, when you're cutting back as much as I am, the weight loss should be more.  The average in the program is about 3 pounds a week.  I lost half that.  For three weeks in a row!  Errgh!

Hopefully this won't mess me up too badly.  If I don't lose much next week, at least this time I'll understand why!

Week Eleven

Today's Weigh in:

-3.0 pounds

Total Lost:
38.2

Current Weight:
220

Another frustrating weigh-in.  3 pounds sounds pretty decent, except when you remember it's over a two week period.  That's only 1.5 pounds a week.  Not bad if you're on a regular diet.  Pretty damn depressing when you're only eating 800 calories a day!  

I was just reading an article on diet from Kaiser and it said for my weight I should eat about 1600 calories a day in order to lose 2 pounds a week.  Seriously!  According to them I could eat real food ... and twice as much!  I need to figure out what's causing this slump and get back on track.  

I realize 1.5 pounds isn't bad, and it's certainly going in the right direction.  It's just frustrating right now.  I'll get over it ... but for crying out loud!!

Day 76: Measurements

I didn't realize until I went to grab my previous measurements that it had been so long since I shared an update.  I am so sorry about that.  I will try to be better!

I do find it interesting that I seem to be losing inches much faster on the upper half of my body than on the lower half.  I've lost 1.5" in my waist since the beginning of the month, but only .5" on my bottom and on my big ol' thighs.  No matter, as long as nothing is getting bigger!

Today's Measurements:

Bust:  40"

Waist:  35"

Hips:  46.5"

Thigh:  26.5"

Arm:  12"

Neck:  15.25"

December 1:

Bust: 41"

Waist: 36.5"

Hips: 47"

Thigh: 26"

Arm: 12"

Neck: 15.5"

Starting Measurements:

October 9:  

258 Pounds

Bust:   43 1/2"

Arm:   14"

Waist: 39"

Hips:   50"

Thigh:  27"

Day 75: Christmas Office Gifts

The holidays are always an interesting time of year.  I love all the lights, the smell of Christmas trees, the shopping ... but most of all I love showing off my creative side.  Usually I make these beautiful chocolate truffles as gifts for my friends and co-workers.  This year, I didn't trust myself around all the chocolate.  So, I decided to go a different route.

I bought little hand lotions and put them in cellophane bags with creatively stamped toppers.  After I made up a few of these I realized I was missing all the men.  They wouldn't really dig hand lotion.  So, I dug up some willpower and went to Walgreen's and bought a ton of candy.  That's right - about $50 worth of KitKats, chocolate Santa's and Candy Canes.  This is what I made.

Aren't these super cute!  Little Santa Sleighs made out of candy.  I got the idea from my sister who received a similar one from a parent at her kids' school.  I added Santa to it.  I thought the sleigh needed a driver!

I started making these after work last night, around midnight.  I made about 30 of them in, I don't know, about 3 hours.  It was a very late night.  The best part, I didn't take one bite of any of that candy.  Not one!  I did burn my hand with the glue gun, but nothing too serious. 

One big tip.  Buy candy you don't like when you're doing something like this.  I bought lots of candy with nuts.  I do not like nuts.  I do love KitKats, but that couldn't be avoided.  They're really the best shape for this sort of thing.  A Hershey's bar with nuts would be too long and a Reese's Peanut Butter cup could fall apart in the middle.  But, no matter, I didn't take a bite.  I did, however, make them quickly and get them out of the house the very next day.  No leftovers, thank you very much!

Day 74: Apology

I am sorry for the hit and miss posts for the past few weeks.  I spent the past several days with my family celebrating an early Christmas.  It was great and I stuck to the fast without any cheating!

I can't promise that I'll be better about blogging for the next few weeks, but I will definitely try!  Once the holidays are over I will get back to the daily grind ... I mean blog!  :-)

Day 72: Christmas Party

One of the most difficult things about dieting during the holidays is the Christmas Party.  Oh yes, the ever-present cocktail hours, cookie swaps and dinners.

Tonight I had my Rotary Club's Holiday Dinner at Alioto's on Fisherman's Wharf.  It was actually relatively easy.  There was a no-host bar, so without free booze, that's simple, don't drink!  The food was okay, but nothing I was really craving ... oh ... and it was a buffet.  Something about that made it easier to avoid.  I didn't have to explain to a waiter that I wasn't eating.  I just didn't go near the buffet.

At dinner, I sat next to one of my closest friends and an older gentlemen.  He was quite charming and interested in what I did for a living.  So, instead of eating, I talked.  I told him stories about my job and he asked a lot of questions.  What a great way to keep from filling up!  I only drank one diet coke and even though I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, it wasn't a problem.

The only true issue I have with some of the parties are the friends that don't invite me to their parties to "spare" me the problem with being around food.  Hey, I'm a grown-up people.  I can make up my own mind.  If I feel it will be an issue, I won't attend.  However, despite the temptation, I would still like to socialize and spend times with my friends.  Wait, maybe it's just an excuse.  Maybe they simply didn't want to invite me.  Sad face.  Hopefully I haven't gotten too boring over these last few months on this diet!

Week Ten: No Weigh-In

Today is my usual weigh-in date, however, Christmas has come one week early for me, so I didn't go to my weekly meeting today.

I have to work on Christmas Day this year, so I visited my family to celebrate Christmas ahead of time.  It was a very, merry Christmas too!  Lots of great gifts and lots of time spent with family.  The extra blessing for me is that I won't have to avoid the delicious Christmas Eve tamales & chili verde or the Christmas Day prime rib & yorkshire pudding.  My family can have all of the traditional feasts without feeling guilty about eating around me.  Next year - I'll celebrate again (with smaller portions, of course!).

I'll give you the next update on my weight next Monday.  No weigh-in on Tuesday because it falls on Christmas Eve!

Day 68: The Holiday Challenge

Today I am heading home for the holidays.  Since I have to work on Christmas Day, I am celebrating a week early with my family. This will be somewhat of a challenge for me.  I will spend a few days visiting my parents, my sister ... the whole family ... and try very hard not to break the diet.

It's been relatively (ha, no pun intended!) easy to stay on the modified fast.  I don't have a husband or kids to feed, so I eat when I'm hungry and I don't have any other food around the house.  Now, I'll be hanging out with family who are eating like normal people ... and I'll still have to try to do my best to stay on this diet.  I am packing a giant bag full of my shakes & soups.  I'm actually over-packing.  I probably have enough food to last me three weeks, but I want to make sure I don't run out or have any excuse to eat anything else.

Wish me luck!

Day 66: TMI

One of the negatives about losing weight is that I am losing weight in places I'd rather not.  In other words, I've lost weight in my chest, so I had to go for a new bra fitting.  Sigh.

I went to Nordstrom, they are extremely helpful when it comes to getting measured.  It can be a bit traumatic (okay, that's a bit of an overstatement).  In case you've never been measured for a bra - you go into a fitting room take your top off and one of the clerks come in and measure you.  Then, you try on "fit" bras to make sure they measured you properly.  Essentially, you're naked from the waist up with someone else fiddling with your breasts (a bit anyway, nothing improper here though!).

Long story short, I went down ... and up a bra size.  That's right, both.  I used to be a 38C and now I am a 36D.  Hard to believe, especially for those who know me.  I am not well-endowed, trust me.  But I'm (not so) secretly thrilled.  I lost a size in the band and gained in the cup.  I seriously thought I would have dropped a cup size, I figured I would be   a 36B or something, but nope, not me!  Apparently it has less something to do with how far apart the breasts are ... but hey ... I'm a freakin' 36D now people!  :-)

Day 65: Already?

One day after my post about working out and I have already failed.  I didn't make it to yoga today.  Boo!  

I had a bunch of errands to run to get ready for Christmas (it's coming a bit early for me this year!) and before I knew it, the time for yoga had come and gone.  Ugh.  I really need to make this a priority.  Losing weight is fantastic, but I could drop weight even faster if I got up off my butt and worked out regularly.  Not only that, but it would also help tighten & tone me up.  Lord knows I need some of that!

Day 64: Time to Get Moving

Last night's weigh in was a wake-up call for me.  It's a reminder that exercise is a very important part of losing weight and I'm certainly not doing enough.

I am currently working out regularly about 2-3 days a week.  I really should be doing something every day, even if it's just going for a walk.  Currently I am doing yoga one day a week, I go to the gym and ride a bike usually on Saturday or Sunday and I usually go for some short of walk another day.

My new workout plan will be to go to yoga every Tuesday & Thursday.  There is an easy yoga class at a local studio - I am still too out of shape to do anything too strenuous.   I hurt for several days after my last class!  I need to go to the gym three other days.  I am going to ask my friend to join me on Monday and Tuesday nights after my weigh-in ... and also on Saturday and Sunday mornings.  That just leaves Wednesday.  I am going to set that morning aside to walk the stairs near my house.  It's a pretty steep staircase, but if I get up and do a minimum of once up and down ... well, that's a start at least!  It will also help get my heart rate going - which is clearly something I need.

Tomorrow I will post a photo of the stairs to give you an idea of what they look like.  Just so you don't think I'm a total wuss for considering only going up and down once!

Week Nine

Not so good.  :-(

Today's Weigh in:
-1.2 pounds

Total Lost:
35.2

Current Weight:
223

I missed my weekly goal by about 3 pounds.  I knew it was a long shot, but I should have lost more than just 1.2 pounds!  Oh well, hopefully the next weigh-in will be significantly better.

Day 62: Two Months

It's hard to believe it's been two months since I started the modified-fast diet.  So far, it's been a long journey, difficult at times, but certainly not impossible.

I would say the biggest hurdle has to do with being social.  It's tough to go out with friends and have a good time when you can't eat!   I am working to find alternatives and I would say it's relatively successful.  I've gone to art classes and lectures - those are great.  Even the movies are fairly easy - I just take a shake with me to drink instead of chowing down on Raisinets (my favorite!).

I do still dream of burgers.  I usually think of myself as a sweet-fanatic, but since this diet is comprised mostly of sweet shakes, I don't crave chocolate.  I crave savory foods.  I want a burger and onion rings.  I want tamales, tacos and rice.  But, I am good.  I have not caved and except for my one tiny meal at Cheesecake Factory (which was only 250 calories!) I have not cheated.

Hopefully, it will take only a few more months to drop the rest of the weight I need to lose.  After eight weeks, I am down 34 pounds.  I have 49 more to go.  That should take about three more months or so - hopefully not too long.  I don't know how much longer I can take the full modified-fast.  Once I get under 200 pounds, I may re-evaluate.  Perhaps I will ease off and go the slower route using real food with the goal of losing a pound a week.   We'll see how I'm feeling when the times comes.  Right now I am hungry, so I'm feeling a bit anti-diet at the moment!

Day 60: New Wardrobe

I have a whole new wardrobe.  Well, sort of.  I have hung on to lots of my "thin clothes" from over the years and yesterday I starting digging through the buckets of clothes to see if anything fit.

So far, I've gone through one bucket (those big buckets you get at Target for storage, so much easier to deal with than boxes).  It was great, most of the clothes in there fit me.  These are shirts and pants from around eight years ago, when I was living in Seattle.  At that time my lowest weight was in around 210 pounds.  Still overweight, but significantly less than my highest weight here in the City by the Bay!

It's fun going through clothes I haven't seen in years.  It is like having a whole new wardrobe!  The only problem is, some of the clothes are a bit dated.  Not too bad, since I'm not too trendy.  I'm more of a jeans and sweater kinda gal.

Next challenge is going to be figuring out what clothes to get rid of.  I like my clothes and am having a hard time letting go.  I think part of it is that I'm worried I will regain the weight.  I don't want to have to buy a new thin wardrobe, then go buy a new fat wardrobe in a year.  I realize that's fatalistic thinking ... but I can't help but think it's also realistic.

The plan is to give most of the clothes away, but I am keeping a box (bucket!) of some jeans and sweaters ... just in case.

Day 59: Read the Labels

Someone seriously needs to push food manufacturers to make food labels more accurate and quit with the phony "serving size" thing.  Take a look at this picture my friend posted on Facebook.  First off, it could possible be accurate ... 10 Calories per 8 fl oz. ... 20 Calories per bottle.  But wait - there's 20 ounces in the bottle.  That would mean 16 ounces makes up 20 calories, what?

Courtesy Rich Engelhardt

Even more frustrating though, at the items that you really think of as a single serving item.  Like those Crystal Light "individual size" packets.  If you just glance at the calories, there's 5 listed.  However, that's 5 calories per serving ... and the packet actually contains 2 servings.  Now, 5 versus 10 calories isn't that much, but other items those calories can really add up.

Bottom line, if you're counting calories, you must always read the label carefully.  Don't just look at the calories, look at the serving size.  Granted, the average amount we usually eat is significantly larger than what the serving size really should be.  Keep that in mind, no matter what you're eating!

Day 58: Sweet Things

I just discovered the best thing this week.  Okay, maybe not the BEST thing, but it's awfully good!  I tried Torani Sugar-Free syrups for the first time.  They are SO good!

0 calories, 0 fat, 0 sugar

...and delicious!

So far I have had the sugar-free raspberry mixed into my hot cocoa mix.  I also added the chocolate to a 7-up.  I know, it sounds a bit odd, but it tasted great!  I also plan on making a black & white soda using the chocolate, white chocolate and mixing it with water from my Soda Stream machine.  Unfortunately I lost the bottle to the machine, so I have to order one from Amazon before I can whip up that drink.

The first drink I had with the Torani was the raspberry hot cocoa.  It was so good, I actually had to check the bottle to make sure I hadn't accidentally picked up the non sugar-free kind.  Seriously.

The bottles come in a variety of sizes.  I bought a couple 5 ounce bottles to try, but I will go back and buy either the 12 or 24 ounce sizes.  They were pretty pricey on Amazon for the individual bottles, but there is a variety pack of 6 24 oz. bottles for a little under $40.  I bought mine at Cost Plus.  The small (5 oz.) bottles were $2.99 and the large (24 oz) bottles were $7.99.  Not too bad really.  You only need about a tablespoon or two added to a drink, so the large bottles should last a while.

Oh... and the Torani website also has recipe ideas that can help you figure out how to use the syrups.  Yum!

Day 57: Side by Side

October 11

December 2

Here's a side by side comparison ... not quite two months into the modified-fast diet.  

I am really starting to see a difference especially in the face.  Not only that, I look much happier in the more recent photo!  :-)  (I look so mean in the first one!)

Day 57: Dreams

I had a dream about bread last night.  It was a bizarre guilt ridden dream.  In it I ate a chunk of bread ... something like a torn off piece of sourdough.  I was so wracked with guilt after I ate the dream, it was almost physical.  When I woke up I was still upset about the whole thing.  It took me a few minutes to realize it was just a dream and I hadn't actually eaten any bread.

Wow.  What does that say about me and what this diet is doing to my mind?

Week Eight

My best week in quite a while!  Wow!

Today's Weigh in:
-5.2 pounds

Total Lost:
34

Current Weight:
224.2

Next week's goal:  I'd love to hit 220.   That's probably a bit of a stretch, I can't imagine I would have two great weeks in a row.  If I can reach a 4 pound average over the next four weeks I will reach the 50 mark by January 1.  I doubt that will happen, but I will be awfully close!

Day 55: Picture Time

I just realized I hadn't posted an update photo in a while, so here you go!  I'm not in the usual gym wear, but I figured since it's been a while it will have to do!

Day 54: Checking in

The diet is still going well.  I haven't had another bite of "real food" since my indiscretion last week.  I went right back into the modified fast pretty easily.  I am dreading the next few weeks though.  Christmas day won't be an issue since I'll be back at work, however all the tasty goodies that are everywhere!  At work, on TV, in magazines... it's driving me crazy!

I actually thought about buying this cool looking brownie bite pan at Williams Sonoma.  I mean, doesn't that look yummy!

But seriously, what do I need with that thing.  I wouldn't be able to use it for months!  So, I looked away and moved on.  (But of course now it's posted to my blog so I'm going to see it everyday!)

Today I have had a nasty headache most of the day.  I can't seem to get rid of it.  I doubt it's related to the diet, since this is the first time I've really had a non-stop headache in the past 54 days.  Time for another shake - maybe I'm just thirsty!  

Day 54: Measurements

Today's Measurements:

December 1:

Bust: 41"

Waist: 36.5"

Hips: 47"

Thigh: 26"

Arm: 12"

Neck: 15.5"

November 23: 

Bust: 41"

Waist: 37"

Hips: 48"

Thigh: 26"

Arm: 12.25"

Neck: 16"

Starting Measurements:

October 9:  

258 Pounds

Bust:   43 1/2"

Arm:   14"

Waist: 39"

Hips:   50"

Thigh:  27"